Sorority Girls Keep Texting Me.

On Monday, I was at the Union grabbing a bite to eat before class and I got this text that I subsequently deleted because it was from a number I didn’t recognize and it didn’t make any sense. Anyway, the text itself read somewhere along the lines of “ahoy ladies! anyone up for a kill today?”….. What did it mean? I didn’t have a clue, and that’s why I deleted it. I thought it was a fluke. I have since received a string of texts like this, and I have yet to reply to any of them to tell them I’m not who they think I am. Here are the other texts I’ve received in chronological order (note: all poor grammer and spelling is exactly as the texts are received by me, with a blank indicating an excluded phone number):

“Hey girls! If anyone is free between 3 and 4 today… Contact Caitlin lueck about an easy kill for big points! This is laura muyres btw.”
“Nik miller is leaving olin at 1 45. Anyone have his name and is ready to kill then? Txt jankowski ______”
“Trevor funk is in class in the school of ed until 1215. lets get him he’ll never suspect it and hes worth extra points. Txt _______ its schmelds”
“ahoy ladies! Claire needs ppl to go to intermurals let her know if you are free”
“ahoy laides! Stake out at noon whos in? Talk to jesse if you can make it”
“Ahoy who has Kriepkes name??”
“Anyone free from now till one?”
“Who has matt abrahmsons name?”
“ahoy are you up for a kill at 345”
“Ahoy! If you are not busy, we need to kill some boys who are in aliber. Blake and nick thierer are for sure here. Tell me if youre in! Spread the word please.”
“ahoy! Who is up for a stake out this afternoon? Is you are available contact beth ann”
“This is from Carley. we need these names.. brunning rapp myhre brice raether frahm dang and david text claire asap!! ______ foward on”
“BE CAREFUL!! Try not to leave your dorms! Stay inside and if you need to go somehwere get a ride. NO hubble and No spikes! We are almost done!”
“Yes. Its a waterballoon fight!”
“We played better and harder than those baby TCs so let’s go super soak them and finish it off! Everyone come to the house at 10 for some sneaky TC fun! Forward!”
I’m so confused by all of this. It seems like some fraternity/sorority type of game of which I’ve inadvertently become a part. Weird. I’m not sure how long I should keep receiving these before I text back to say I’m the owner of the phone number and not whoever they think they’re texting. What a weird problem.

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